#Hope2013

#Hope2013 was Gulzar's hashtag for the unfortunate Delhi rape case today. For quite some time I avoided commenting on the topic. I would have probably not blogged about it at all hadn't I been in India to observe people's reaction to the inhuman incident. Even in the 21st century, the immediate reaction to such an incident is "The way these girls dress these days". From an autorickshaw driver to educated people, I heard this comment from enough number of people for me to react, for my blood to boil. I am especially outraged at women who have this reaction. First of all, how do you think that such a heinous act can have any kind of excuse? Do you really believe that women in sarees don't get raped in broad daylight in our country? Secondly the explanation is not so simple. There are many different social factors that lead to such incidences. The major factor is this kind of reaction, which questions the victim instead of blaming the perpetrator. To me a lot of this has to do with the preferential treatment that men receive in our society. Even today female infanticide is a reality in our country. Even today sons are treated differently than our daughters. While the sons grow up thinking that being a man is a major accomplishment of their lives that entitles them to everything they want, at the same time daughters are taught to be submissive; both at home and on television. Just watch any episode of an Ekta Kapoor series and you can see that women are either good (completely submissive and sacrificial) or they are bad (scheming and conniving). Let's not even discuss the objectification of women in movies. IBNLive has a good article on the topic if you are interested. Really, what are these men seeing at home, on television and in movies? How is their father treating their mother or sister? How is the mother reacting to it? Does she have the courage to fight him? Or does she think that this is how things are supposed to be? Is the grandfather or the grandmother ever rushing to support the mother? If you don't see women being respected around you, how will you ever know that you are supposed to respect them?

For ages our society has been treating women badly. Look at some of our traditions. Child marriage: girls were married off as soon as they neared puberty. A married woman displays n number of signs indicating that she belongs to someone else, while the husband doesn't really have to. Finally, a widow was first required to burn to death following her husband's death and later (at the mercy of men) was required to shave off her head, wear plain saree and no jewellery. All of these traditions have one underlying rationale. They were all in place to "save" the women from the evil sight of other men who could "ruin" her life. For ages we have punished our women because we don't trust the animal in our men. And we don't see anything wrong with it.  

While generalizing like this puts all men in one category (which is entirely wrong), these attitudes are still prevalent enough that such incidences occur. This is one case that has come to the forefront, but this very attitude of questioning the victim dissuades many victims from coming forth. Women are still abused on a daily basis at home and on the streets. They better accept eve teasing as normal or fun and dare not take a stance against it.

Unless we stop questioning the victim, things will not change. Unless we stop brainwashing our sons and daughters into thinking that a good girl is supposed to be submissive, things will not change. Unless we stop brainwashing our sons and daughters into thinking that being born as a male entitles them to beat women into submission, things will not change. Unless we respect other people and teach our children to do the same, things will not change. Remember rape is about power and not about sex.